


Monstrumologist Ficlets

by willhenreeeee



Category: The Monstrumologist Series - Rick Yancey
Genre: Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 15:44:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 5,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4751933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willhenreeeee/pseuds/willhenreeeee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Back a while I did a writing challenge where you take a word and write a fic based on it, so I used The Monstrumologist series. Here are a few of my favorites. Lots of fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stardust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cute little rooftop moment between Chill Henry and his vague friend Waterlilly.

Lilly smiled down at Will Henry, causing the loose curls from her bun to fall in her face and make her look rather silly.  
"Well are you coming up, William Henry?" she asked in her usual smug-sounding chirp.  
Will could feel the vertigo by simply looking UP at it. The roof of the Bate's home -or mansion- seemed to tower over the rest of the houses on that block. He swallowed hard.  
"I don't think I can climb up, Lilly..."  
The older girl went into a fit of giggles, and Will could feel a blush creeping up his neck.  
"You don't have to climb all the way up, you silly stupid boy, just go to my bedroom window!"  
"Oh. Right."  
He felt foolish as he ran into the house, through the living room (where the doctor gave him an odd look from his perch on the overstuffed sofa), and up the stairs (nearly knocking over a maid carrying a basket full of dirty laundry).  
He was breathing heavily by the time he reached Lilly's room, and almost had to drag himself to her window. He leaned against the sill, frowning when he didn't see her face peaking in. He opened up the window, feeling the warm summer air blow into his face, and enjoying the feeling for a moment. Suddenly, Will felt a yank on my shirt collar, and he cried out as he was firmly pulled onto the roof. He quickly looked towards his assailant, only to see Lilly's dazzling blue eyes. She beamed.  
"Well, isn't the view just PERFECT?" she asked.  
Will looked down, a wave of nausea coming over him.  
"I meant over here!" Lilly groaned, pulling his head up firmly.  
The skyline of the city was clearly visible from high up, sparkling and beautiful in the low evening light. Will Henry felt the same wonder that befell him on his first ride through the city, a kind of childish enchantment that filled him with pure joy.  
"Is it not lovely?"  
He looked over at Lilly, who wasn't looking back; she had her eyes glued to the city, her face full of as much wonder as his own.  
Will simply nodded, and tried to slide himself into a better position. In that, he felt something grainy underneath his hand. Curious, Will lifted his palm to discover it was now evenly coated in a golden dust. His brow furrowed.  
"What's this?"  
The question had barely left his mouth before Lilly had his hand in her grasp. After thoroughly examining it, she placed it back down on the roof.  
"Stardust," she claimed.  
Will held back a chuckle.  
"That doesn't exist, though."  
Lilly snorted. "It does up here. EVERYTHING exists up here. It's magic."  
"Your roof is magical?" Will asked.  
The older girl laughed again.  
"William, I swear every time I see you, you get even more stupid!"  
She planted a kiss upon the bemused boy's cheek.


	2. Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Von Helrung asks a question that Pellinore thinks is ridiculous.

"If you had a magical power, what would it be?"  
The question froze everyone at the table, except for Pellinore, who looked at von Helrung with concern.  
"What kind of a question is THAT?" he asked, unable to keep the irritated tone out of his voice.  
"It was simply a hypothetical," von Helrung said with a shrug.  
Lilly beamed. "I like it! I for one would have the ability to fly, so I could see the whole city whenever I wanted! Not even this city, mind you; Paris, London, Vienna- I could fly to any city whenever I'd like."  
Von Helrung smiled, and looked at his other niece.  
"Emily?"  
Emily frowned thoughtfully, and placed down her fork. "I think I would shapeshift, be able to become anyone I wanted to be. I could become someone new every day. A librarian, a nurse, a farmer... endless possibilities."  
Pellinore suppressed a groan and placed his chin in his hand. How did their conversation become so ridiculous?  
"Will?"  
Will Henry looked up from his food. "I... don't know."  
He suddenly winced, possibly from Lilly kicking him under the table.  
"Fine, I... I think I would be very smart. So none of you could call me stupid anymore. And I would become an inventor; like Tesla or Edison, and make things that could change the world."  
The doctor looked over at his assistant, who gave him a half-hearted smile. "What about you, sir?"  
Pellinore shook his head. "That question is pointless."  
"That's why it's called a hypothetical question, mein fruend," von Helrung said gently.  
"...Fine." The doctor sat up.  
"I would have the power of telepathy. I could call upon Will Henry in a way he could hear me every single time, so I won't have to strain my vocal chords."  
The whole table laughed, except Will, who had buried his face in his hands.


	3. Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprising sentimental moment.

Sunlight came through the small attic window, dancing upon the sheets of the bed.  
7 year old Pellinore stirred, moaning not only due to the sun beating down on his face, but a sinus headache that was causing the backs of his eyes to feel like they were slowly being crushed.  
With a grunt he sat up, stirring up the usual dust that enjoys dancing in sunbeams.  
Smacking his lips, he peeked out the window. Though this only got him a view of the ally and the side of the house next door, to the far left he could see a man coming out of his store to sweep, and two boys about his age already out playing in the snow. A jealous feeling crept up on him, put was quickly pushed back by a fresh burst of pain in his head. Softly moaning, he laid back down, only to see his father leering over him.  
The man didn't tell him good morning, nor ask him how he slept, he simply pressed his hand against his son's forehead briefly.  
"Your fever's gone down," he said matter-of-factly.  
Pellinore nodded, and to his surprise, his father sat down on the edge of the bed.  
"Your mother is making soup. Would you like some?"  
His tone stayed pretty much the same, though an edge of softness had crept into it.  
Pellinore nodded again, then coughed into his elbow.  
Alistair patted his son on the leg before rising, nearly causing the boy to jump out of his skin.  
"Buck up, Pellinore. A new day is dawning."


	4. Waterlillies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Henry acts like a stupid and gets a rare reaction from Dr. Warthrop.

It was a lovely spring day, the kind of day where normal ladies and gentlemen went out for walks, while normal children played stickball in front of their school houses.  
But Will Henry's life was not normal enough for these activities, so he found himself sat on a muddy bank, writing notes as his master observed a long, spiny fish he had yanked from the water a few minutes before.  
"Specimen appears to be a juvenile, and measures 10 inches long. Its teeth have not fully come in yet, though in the front..."  
The Doctor's monotone speech bored him (per usual), and Will found his eyes gravitating to the pond's surface. It was lovely, with the sun dancing on it. It almost looked like glass. A sudden plop caused his eyes to dart to a plant a frog had just jumped off of.  
A waterlily.  
Of course, this automatically pulled him into thoughts of Lillian Bates, with her sapphire eyes and knowing smile. Let alone her seemingly steam-powered mouth. But it was a lovely mouth, just across from his. Close enough to kiss.  
"Well, will you kiss me, William?" It giggled.  
Why yes! He leaned forward...  
"Will Henry, what the devil are you doing!?"  
The doctor's voice pierced Will's thoughts, immediately causing him to topple into the water with a cry of surprise. He felt the notebook being ripped out of his hand, and he wiggled onto his back. A face loomed above his, though it wasn't the smiling one of Lillian Trumbl Bates, but the furious one of Pellinore Xavier Warthrop.  
"What was that?!"  
Will gulped. So THIS was how he was going to die,  
"L-Lilly, sir," he stammered aloud. "She was in front of me, and wanted me to kiss her, so I tried, and.... I'm sorry!"  
To Will's surprise, the doctor's face mysteriously started to contort. He let out a light snort, his nose crinkled, and a smile seemed to be tugging at the corner of his mouth. Then, as if by the will of some mysterious force, he laughed.   
Will had never heard the doctor laugh like this. Maybe a chuckle in passing, but it was usually dry or out of courtesy. This was a full on booming laugh, the kind that could bring a man to his knees and tears into his eyes. A laugh that Will would expect to hear from von Helrung, but never, EVER, Dr. Warthrop.  
Will expected him to stop, yell "FOOLED YOU!", then proceed to beat him over the head with the nearest blunt object. But he did not. He kept laughing, his hands on his knees, his face beet red. Will stared dumbfounded at his hysterical master.  
Finally, the doctor stopped, gasping for air.  
"It appears," he finally said, "that I must keep you far away from waterlilies."


	5. Pregnancy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilly has to explain the miracle of life to her little brother.

Lilly was sitting in her room with the book her uncle had given her when a knock sounded from the door.  
"Yes?" she asked, quickly shoving the book under her pillow.  
The door opened a crack, revealing the face of her younger brother, Reginald.  
"May I come in?" he asked.  
"Of course!" Lilly said, an innocent smile forming on her face.  
Reggie walked in, shutting the door behind him. "I have a question."  
"What is it?"   
Lilly didn't even break a sweat. Someday she was going to be the world's greatest Monstrumologist, what question could she not answer?  
"Where do babies come from?"  
Well.  
"...What?"  
"Where do babies come from?"  
"I know, but WHAT?"  
"I just want to know!" whined Reggie.  
"Then ask Mother!" Lilly huffed. She knew the answer, of course, just she would be the last person you could ask to explain sex and birth to a small child.  
"I asked mother, and she told me to ask father, and he told me to ask the cook, who told me to ask you!"  
Those monsters!  
"Fine. Sit down, and I shall explain to you where babies come from."  
Reggie smiled and sat crossed legged on the floor in front of her, his hands folded in his lap.  
Lilly could NEVER tell him the truth, not at this age. So she, God forgiving, would lie. Yes! The perfect plan!  
"Well, when a man and a woman fall in love and get married, and they want to have a child, they must wire a doctor."  
"A doctor? Like Uncle Abram?"  
"No, a Doctor named... Rigby. And he lives in Spain."  
"What does he do?"  
"Well, when he gets the telegram, he asks for a letter explaining in detail what kind of child they want. Then once he gets the letter, he makes it."  
"How does he make the baby?"  
Lilly thought for a second. How WOULD one create a child without having sex?  
"He... he makes mechanical children!"  
Reggie gasped. "Really?!"  
"Yes! He makes a mechanical child, covers it with skin and hair, then sends it to the parents!"  
"...Does that mean I'm mechanical?"  
Lilly resisted the urge to laugh. "Yes. You are a mechanical boy."  
Reggie looked shocked. "Is EVERYONE mechanical!?"  
"Yes! You and I, mother and father, Uncle and the cook, Dr. Warthrop and William Henry, even the President! All of them are mechanical."  
"But how does he make so many mechanical people?!" Her brother looked frantic at this point.  
"He's immortal. He's immortal so he can make mechanical people forever."  
Reggie sat stone still for a moment, then promptly stood up and ran out of the room, crying.   
"MOTHER, MOTHER, I'M A MECHANICAL BOY!"  
Lilly rolled around on her bed in a fit of laughter.


	6. Old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Von Helrung proves that old people have a sense of humor, too.

"Your uncle is getting old." Will Henry said to Lilly Bates one autumn morning.  
She scoffed. "Nonsense! My uncle may be old, but he is not GETTING old. He can still do anything!"  
"Well it's not like he's as limber as he used to be..." Will said softly.  
Lilly snorted and stood up, grabbing Will's wrist and pulling him down the stairs.  
"Wait... I didn't mean it! I take it back! Please don't hurt me..."  
Lilly pulled him into the living room, where her Uncle and Will's doctor sat discussing what was probably Monstrumology, but could honestly bleed into any other topic (much to Pellinore's disdain).  
"William Henry says you're getting old, uncle!"  
Von Helrung chuckled, placing his mug on the coffee table. "Is that so?"  
"Yes!" Lilly exclaimed.  
Dr. Warthrop raised an eyebrow. "Von Helrung is just as capable as he was at MY age."   
"That's what I was saying!" Lilly cried.  
Von Helrung stood up, rubbing his knees. "Will Henry is right, I am growing old."  
Everyone seemed taken aback, even Will.  
"Nonsense, Meister Abram!" said Pellinore.  
"Oh no, mein frund. I'm rather old now. Why I'm so old, I could keel over and die at any minute!"   
And with that, he collapsed to the floor.  
Lilly screamed, and Pellinore immediately jumped to his feet, spilling tea all over the sofa and his lap.  
Will simply stared, his face snow-white. Oh how he regretted saying anything!  
Just as the Doctor was kneeling at von Helrung's side, the old Monstrumologist sat up, laughing.  
"Oh, I gave you all quite a scare, didn't I?! I feel like John!"  
Pellinore glared at Will Henry, who got the message: one should NEVER tell a Monstrumologist that he is growing old.


	7. Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will and Lilly are very incompetent at summoning spirits.

"A circle, Will Henry, I said a CIRCLE!"  
"But this IS a circle, Lilly!"  
"No, you idiot, that's an OVAL!"  
Will sighed. This was a complete waste of salt anyway.  
"If we don't want to get possessed or haunted for eternity, it has to be a circle!"  
"Why are dead people so specific anyway!?" Will cried in frustration.  
"Because they have nothing better to do! Now, circle, SNAP TOO!"  
Great. Now she was becoming the doctor!  
Lilly had the seance set up perfectly: A table covered in white cloth, set with candles at 4 different points. At the center was a ouija board. Her neighbor had said the spirit would move the glass set in its center to spell out its response. It was the best way to preform a seance when you lacked a medium. She had also heard that you had to surround the summoning area with a circle of salt, which her friend seemed to be terrible at.  
"Now it looks like a deformed polygon."  
Will threw the salt down in frustration. "What does it matter, ghosts don't exist anyway!"  
Lilly scoffed. "Fine! Become possessed by an evil spirit for all I care! But when it launches you out the window, don't come calling for me!"  
Will glared at her, and she glared back.  
"If you're so good at making circles, do it yourself!"  
"I shall!"  
Lilly snatched the salt away and stepped carefully around the table, frowning when she couldn't make a circle.  
"See?" he snapped.  
Lilly frowned. "Well, I suppose it is very hard to make a circle around a square table that's pressed to the wall."


	8. Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pellinore and Will Henry meet for the first time.

Pellinore sighed and rested his chin on his hand. Where in God's name was James? He was supposed to be there an hour ago.  
"I am not getting any younger, Mr. Henry!" the doctor said to no one.  
As if on cue, he heard the front door open and slam, and feet pound down the hallway.  
Pellinore stepped out of his study, nearly getting plowed over by James, who looked like he just witnessed an accident.  
"Dr. Warthrop!" he cried, grabbing his employer's shirt. "Mary, she's in labor!"  
Pellinore recoiled. He was a Monstrumologist, not a midwife!  
"Then call an actual doctor," he said calmly.  
"I would, but I don't have that kind of time! You do have some human medical knowledge, right?!"  
Well, he couldn't expect James not to know he had never delivered a child in his life.  
"Alright, bring her in here."  
A flood of relief washed over James' face, and he rushed out the door, returning a minute later with Mary.  
Pellinore braced himself for the laboring woman, knowing the amount of pain she was in would certainly affect the way she treated him. That is, make it worse.  
She glared at him, insisting to James that she didn't want to have that BASTARD deliver her child, but James brought her upstairs anyway.  
Bastard? Pellinore stiffened. This wouldn't be a pleasant experience, not even for the baby. Grabbing his field kit, he ran upstairs. 

James had laid Sarah down on the bed, and whether she was glaring at him or her face was just contorted in pain, Pellinore couldn't tell.  
Her husband was wiping her forehead, saying soothing words, while she snapped and swore at him. It was like watching someone try to pet a rabid dog.  
Pellinore sighed and did his work, the time being blurred by Sarah's screams, James' sweet nothings, and the sound of his own heartbeat. Then, the bundle of noise was broken by a cry. Not one from Mary this time, but from a baby. A boy, Pellinore noted.   
Throughout the hours, the doctor imagined himself tossing the baby to his mother, offering a congratulations, then retreating back to his study. But, something made him freeze. The baby had stopped crying, and was just... looking at him.  
Pellinore studied the the infant, who had his father's hazel eyes and mother's light brown hair. He smiled as he saw the baby wasn't bald, and was almost tempted to dry the hair, so it would look like a chick's. His son would look like a baby chicken. Pellinore almost snorted at the thought. He was tugged back, however, by the snip of scissors as James cut the umbilical chord.  
"May I have my son?" he asked.  
Oh.  
The reality of the situation crashed down upon Pellinore, and he handed his assistant the baby with a quick apology.   
James smiled and traced a finger over his son's face, before handing him to Mary.  
"The laboring lady gets to pick the name." James said cheerfully.  
"William," she said softly. "Little William Henry."  
"What of his middle name?" asked James.  
It took Pellinore a moment to realize the words were directed at him.  
"...James." he said.  
Sarah snorted, but his assistant smiled, and leaned down towards his wife and newborn son.  
"William James Henry, you're going to LOVE Pellinore Xavier Warthrop."


	9. Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Pell are stupids, as per usual. (I'll probably stick this one in with Pell and John tomorrow)

"I'll get to the top first!" John proclaimed one day.  
He and Pellinore were sat under the large oak tree in von Helrung's yard, where for the past five minutes Pellinore had been reading while John pulled up grass and sprinkled it over him. Thus, already at his wit's end, he let out a firm no.  
John scoffed. "Was that a challenge?!"  
"What- no!" Pellinore said, as he had meant he didn't want to climb the tree. He knew in his gut John was trying to lure him into the stupid race.  
The two teenagers sat in silence for a minute, until John got up.  
"Alright. Winner gets the last bit of cocoa for hot chocolate, and the loser has to sit in horse dung for two minutes."  
"That doesn't seem very fair."  
John touched his chin. "Chocolate as a reward and shit as a punishment? I think that's quite fair."  
Pellinore rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll do it."  
John shook his hand, then within the blink of an eye had hiked up his pants and climbed onto the first branch.  
Caught off guard, Pellinore stood up quickly, nearly hitting his head on a branch. He stumbled into the tree, came to his senses, and followed his friend's lead. Within the span of 10 minutes they were almost to the top, in a fair tie.  
John had realized this and was scrambling to get there first, while Pellinore calmly stepped his way up. However, despite his steady pace, a thin branch beneath him just wasn't strong enough to hold even his light weight, and he nearly fell. He quickly grabbed the branch above him, scrambling and struggling to get his feet back on the tree.  
John looked down at him, and was about to continue climbing, but changed his mind when he saw the frightened look in Pellinore's eyes. He shimmied down and side-stepped around the trunk, standing on the rather sturdy branch Pellinore was clinging to.  
"You'd better not gloat about this!" he growled.  
"Who would I have to gloat to?"  
He pulled his friend up onto the branch.  
"For once it's not me saving YOUR arse," Pellinore said with a smile.  
"I honestly prefer it the other way around, honestly," John shrugged.  
"Hmm. Me too."


	10. Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another rare sentimental moment in the Warthrop household.

What Margaret saw when she walked into the kitchen nearly made her drop her tea. Alistair, out of the basement and sitting at the table?! Praise God!  
"Good morning, darling!" she said, a smile across her face.  
Alistair simply grunted, which was good enough for her.  
Mrs. Warthrop hustled across the small kitchen, grabbing the scones she had picked up from the baker and setting it on the table.  
"Want one?"  
Alistair looked up from his book, and examined the pastries set before him. "I simply could not. They're your favorite."  
Margaret smiled. "I think I could spare one."  
The doctor snorted. "Are you kidding? You nearly cut Pellinore's hand off when he tried to take one of them."  
Mrs. Warthrop gave his arm a smack. "How dare you suggest I would hurt our son!"  
Her husband barely even acknowledged the blow. "I am merely stating a fact."  
Margaret sighed and sat across from him, taking one of the scones.  
"Speaking of Pellinore," he continued "I think you should stop telling him stories."  
The doctor's wife nearly choked on her pastry. "Pardon?!"  
"You heard what I said. No more stories. You're... you're giving him a misrepresentation of reality."  
Margaret snorted. "You're full of shit, Al."  
"Physically impossible."  
Margaret being used to the brick wall that was the man she married, laughed.  
"What?" He asked.  
"It's a figure of speech, love."  
"I'm aware. I'm joking with you. But still, my point is he will grow up to be a dreamer."  
"What is so bad about being a dreamer? He will write poetry when he grows up."  
"Yes, and then never land a proper job, like mine."  
"As if Monstrumology is a proper job!"  
"Poetry isn't either. He will become impoverished."  
"Then he shall find a lovely impoverished woman and have many impoverished children."  
"Yes, and he shall name them My, Mother, Told, Me, Too, Many, and Stories."  
Margaret burst out laughing. "You're being ridiculous, Alistair!"  
"Deep in your heart, you know it's the truth!"  
"Even so, then his life will become a story!"  
"Yes, a cautionary tale."  
"A tale nonetheless."  
"He, his wife, and their... 7 children shall live on the corner of the street. They'll probably roll cigarettes for a living!"  
"At least we shall get to see our grandchildren everyday."  
"Yes," Alistair cracked a small smile.  
"Their names will be awkward, though. 'Mother, Mother stole my doll!'. Then Mother will cry, 'You tell stories!', and she'll say 'okay!' then run off to tell her brother. Then Pellie and his wife will sit there and regret naming their children after words."  
The couple laughed loudly, attracting their son to the kitchen. Alistair quickly piped down, but Margaret kept giggling.  
"What's so funny?" asked Pellinore.  
"You, My, Mother, Told, Me, Too, Many, and Stories," said his father.  
His parents laughed once again.


	11. Animals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will asks a very important question.

"Sir, may I have a pet?"  
Will didn't expect the question to shock the Monstrumologist as much as it did. He actually jumped, dropped his scalpel, and looked the boy dead in the eye.  
"What?"  
"...I would like a pet."  
"Whatever for?"  
"Well, I think it'd be good to have one."  
The doctor let out a huff of breath. "What pet do you want, exactly?"  
"I was thinking of... a dog, perhaps?"  
"No! Those things are so stupid and destructive, it would probably manage to knock over all of my specimen jars, eat their contents, vomit it all up, then eat THAT."  
"...How about a cat?"  
"It would just ignore you. Probably lay around the stairs all day, waiting for us to trip over it and break our necks. That's what happened to a woman my mother knew. She tripped over her pet cat while walking down the stairs and snapped her neck like a twig."  
Will sighed. Was this REALLY the game they were going to play?  
"A pig, then?"  
"They're disgusting. Once I saw one rolling around in manure. Would you like that as a pet, Will Henry? A pig covered in shit?"  
"No, sir... how about a goat?"  
"Those will eat anything! Eat us out of this house, no doubt."  
Will was starting to get frustrated.  
"A horse?"  
"We have 3 of those!"  
"Yes, but they aren't pets!"  
"Yes they are!"  
"We use them for traveling!"  
"They are much more that that!  
"But you said!-"  
"WILL HENRY, GO OUT AND LOVE YOUR PET HORSES, SNAP TO!"  
"FINE!"  
He stormed up the steps, stopping midway.  
"Wait, what?"  
Will looked back down at the doctor, and could swear he saw a smile on his face.


	12. Queen of Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilly makes a move.

Will was, frankly, extremely bored. Although, society meetings weren't particularly renowned for their fun and excitement.  
He was thinking about sneaking away when Lilly popped up next to him, all curls and raw energy. It reminded him of last year, when she had dragged him off to the society's museum.   
Oh, and nearly got him killed by a hermaphroditic worm.  
Wary, the boy lifted his head. "What is it this time?"  
Lilly sighed. "Oh, Will. I fear you don't trust me!"  
"That's because I don't." Will grumbled.  
"Somebody's grumpy..." Lilly teased.  
Will ignored her, trying to focus on the doctor, who was getting cross with a Bulgarian man that had a very well trimmed mustache.  
"Are you even listening?!" Lilly snapped, the doctor shouting the same thing in the other Monstrumologist's face.   
"Yes." Will lied.  
Lilly rolled her eyes.  
Suddenly, there was a smack.   
Will automatically knew it was the Bulgarian man, because Dr. Warthrop had far too much self control to outright smack the other man (even if he wanted to).  
The doctor, of course, barely flinched; though this was enough to spark a riot about the table of men.  
Fists were flying, hair was pulled, clothes were torn, and in the middle of it were an irritated Warthrop and exasperated von Helrung.  
Will felt a tug on his sleeve, and was suddenly pulled out of the way as a slender Italian man crashed into the very chair he had been sitting in.  
Lilly, who looked even more irate than the doctor, pulled Will out of the room and into an empty hallway.  
"I wanted to bring you somewhere special, but you haven't been paying attention. So here will have to do."  
Will was about to question what she meant, but before he could even form the words, Lilly's mouth had smashed against his.  
Simultaneously his face turned red, his body locked, and he felt the most awkward rush of heat and chills that had ever hit him.  
Lilly pulled away, smiling, and Will felt his body hit the wall.  
"You weren't lying when you said you've never kissed a girl!" Lilly giggled.  
Will couldn't even form a response. He just stood there, his heart pounding in his ears.  
A strong hand on his shoulder made him jump.  
"What the devil is wrong with you?" asked the Doctor.  
"Oh, the fight flustered him, so I brought him out here." Lilly said smoothly.  
The doctor rolled his eyes. "Oh, you've faced worse than that. Now come along."  
The Monstrumologist pulled a still stunned Will back into the meeting room.


	13. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pellinore and von Helrung have an argument.

"Mein Fruend, when is Will Henry's birthday?"  
Pellinore was completely caught of guard by the question, and as out of character as it was, all he could reply with was a confused little "Pardon?".  
"Don't you know what I mean, Pellinore? The day he was born! He has never brought it up to me, but I want to be able to send him something nice. Ach, don't tell me you don't know when his birthday is!"  
"I know it." Pellinore said.   
"I was there..." he added, mentally.  
"When is it, then?"  
"September 7th."  
"Oh, you should bring him over then! We could throw him a party!" Von Helrung giggled like a child at the thought. "Wouldn't that be wonderful?"  
"I don't know if he would like that. Will Henry is very..." Pellinore hunted for a word, but nothing came to mind.  
Von Helrung sighed. "I know you need him to grow up fast, Mein Fruend, but at least let the boy savor it! He'd love to have a birthday party, I'm sure! We did them for you! Ah, remember your 16th? Didn't you enjoy it?"  
"Yes, of course I did. But we almost destroyed the house! And John shoved cake down my pants. 3 times."  
Von Helrung laughed. "See! Good memories, ja?"  
"That is not the case anymore, von Helrung. It hurts to remember when a majority of the people involved in said memories are dead; and I fear a party will just make him long for his parents. And he'll... well, he'll become upset. He has never asked for a birthday party anyway, let alone a present. I don't think he cares."  
"I do not think it's apathy or pain so much as you, Pellinore..." von Helrung said honestly.  
"What do you mean?" Pellinore asked.  
"Well, you... you are not a man who would let something like that happen, let alone plan it... basically, he probably is aware you would say no, so he never bothers to ask."  
"That's nonsense! He doesn't because he... well, DOES NOT!"  
"That doesn't even make any sense!" von Helrung cried in exasperation. "Doesn't one with dead loved ones want to remember them!? Is that not healthy and important!?"  
Pellinore threw up his hands. "I don't know! I'm a Monstrumologist, not a psychiatrist! All I'm saying is that if it's painful for me to think about, it would be painful for him, and that is why he never asks!"  
"Nein, he never asks because he knows you would reject him!"  
The two men argued for a few minutes before von Helrung held up a shaking hand.  
"Pellinore, Mein stubborn Fruend, listen to me! Does it not make you happy to remember John shoving cake down your pants?"  
The question was so bizarre and sudden that Pellinore had to suppress a laugh. "Why would it?! He was making fun of me! Besides, the cake was abnormally cold and having cold cake in your pants isn't exactly the best feeling."  
For some reason, he found himself repressing another laugh.  
"Yes, that may be so, but you did get good revenge. As I remember, you shoved his whole face into the cake."  
Now Pellinore laughed. "Yes... he was very angry about that."  
Von Helrung took one of Pellinore's hands between his. "See? It is good to remember. It does not cause pain, it eases pain."  
Pellinore sighed. He would not admit it, but von Helrung was right.  
Satisfied with himself, von Helrung went over to his plan book and wrote "WILLIAM'S BIRTHDAY" in very large script over September 7th.  
At that moment, Will Henry stepped in, and was shocked as the two older men yelled his name in unison.  
"Would you like a party for your brithday, Mein Fruend Will? We will sing, and dance, and I will make sure you are showered with gifts! And I will hire the best baker in all of New York to make you any cake you desire! What do you think?"  
Will frowned. "Sorry Meister Abram, but... I'm afraid a party would just remind me of what I've lost. I'd prefer to just turn 14 and be done with it..."  
"I TOLD YOU!" Pellinore shouted, whipping around to face his old master.  
Will quickly fled as they began to argue again.


End file.
